


Better than Best Friends

by sunshineflying



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-22
Updated: 2013-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-02 08:42:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshineflying/pseuds/sunshineflying
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a secret he doesn't often tell. He did once, and he was burned. But Zayn is different. Zayn is Louis's best friend and he can trust him with anything - even this.</p><p>In which Louis has female parts, identifies as a boy, always has, and probably always will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better than Best Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Please... if I've made any glaring mistakes regarding Louis and his sexuality, let me know. All my information I have gathered from following a few bloggers on Tumblr with a sexuality similar to his.

Best friends for life.

When Louis asked Zayn to make that promise to him, he wasn’t so sure that Zayn knew exactly what he was getting into. He was promising to accept and love Louis for who he was, no matter what.

For Louis, that was a big deal. Nobody aside from his family had ever done it.

Every time Louis would open up and tell someone his deepest secret, they’d run scared. They’d get freaked out, cut and run, and Louis would never see them again. It might end up the way things did in Doncaster, where he told someone, and they proceeded to inform the whole school and Louis’s family was forced to leave out of worry that Louis might take his own life in the process of dealing with the conflict.

So now Louis and the rest of the Tomlinson family resided in Braford. They had since Louis was fourteen. Louis was set behind a year thanks to skipping class so much during the year-that-must-not-be-discussed, as Louis dubbed it. Zayn, however, was brilliant, and he was a year ahead. Zayn might have been twelve but he was smart, and he was in Louis’s year. They hit it off right away.

See, Zayn took none of anybody’s shit. He’d call them out on something and quite a lot of children feared him because he was different. Zayn liked having control without often having to assert it. When he hadn’t been able to get Louis to leave him alone, he caved. Louis kept pestering him – _why are you glaring?_ And other stupid things like _that Scooby Doo shirt is so two years ago_. Zayn laughed, and he was amused by Louis. He didn’t quite want to lose him now.

So best friends they became. All the way through their final year of school, Louis and Zayn were inseparable. Louis was the carefree boy, always smiling and sarcastic and messing around jokingly. He was great at football but refused to play on the school team. Even when Louis went on and on about how much he wished he could go pro, Zayn never asked why he didn’t try to get on the team then. It felt oddly intrusive, even though they were best friends.

“You have to tell him,” Louis’s sister Lottie told him firmly one evening just months before they were to graduate.

Louis was conflicted, though. He didn’t want to lose this friendship with Zayn. It was the best friendship he’d ever had; risking it over something as silly as the real him seemed ridiculous. He wouldn’t do it.

But on graduation night as they sat around Zayn’s empty flat while his family was away, sipping beers and easily working their way through a pack of cigarettes out on the patio, Louis knew it was time. He sighed and said, “I gotta tell you somethin’, Zayn.”

His speech was a bit slurred, but Louis wasn’t drunk. He was happily buzzed and conscious of what he was about to say. Zayn just let out a grunt and glanced over to show that he was paying attention, and Louis said, “I’m not a boy.”

Zayn was instantly baffed. It was sobering, hearing the words come out of Louis’s lips. He shifted on his chair to face Louis properly, and he asked, “What’re you talking about?”

“I’m not a boy,” Louis repeated. He took another swig of beer to boost his confidence. “I’ve always wanted to be, but… that’s all I am. Want.”

Zayn’s eyebrow was cocked high on his face and he just shook his head. He stamped out his cigarette and set aside his beer can, and he said, “Louis, of course you’re a boy.”

“No, I’m not. I haven’t got the right parts,” Louis sighed.

“But you haven’t got tits,” Zayn said bluntly.

“I’ve got slight ones,” Louis replied simply. “I bind them.”

“You what?”

The situation was really confusing for Zayn, but he was filled with curiosity, not hatred. Louis glanced around because he didn’t want the wrong people – or any other people – hearing. “Can we go inside? I’ll explain everything,” Louis sighed.

Zayn nodded and followed Louis into his house. They walked all the way up to Zayn’s bedroom, a familiar route for both of them now, and took a seat. Louis sighed and watched as Zayn’s eyes never left his body, and he broke down. “I bind my chest. Here,” Louis said, and tugged his shirt off.

Just as he’d said, there was a tight fabric wrapped around his torso, right where a set of breasts would be. “They’re not very big to begin with, but that’s alright. Makes ‘em easier to cover up,” Louis explained as he blushed scarlet. He was really trusting Zayn not to misuse this information. “I’ve been saving up for years to have an operation, to get them removed, you know? But until then…” Louis shrugged.

Zayn’s eyes were lingering on the fabric, tightly wound around Louis’s chest, and he asked, “So… you were born with female parts, is that what you’re saying?”

Louis nodded and fearfully squeaked, “Y-yes.”

Zayn dragged his eyes back up to meet Louis’s and he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Why do you think I moved here? When I was younger… well, my whole life mum has just let me be a boy. I wanted boy things so she let me wear them. I told one of my friends back in Doncaster that I… well, that I was born this way, but that I was a boy. He didn’t get it. He told the whole school and everyone ridiculed me,” Louis explained. It was hard to revisit the past, and he felt this horrible wrenching feeling in his gut. He sat down as he said, “My whole family moved here for me. It wasn’t because of my mum’s job, like I told you.”

It took Zayn a few moments to process, but when he did he said, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Louis asked fearfully. His heart rate quickened and he worried that he was going to lose Zayn in that moment.

“For what that asshole did to you,” Zayn replied simply. “You are who you are, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Louis stared at Zayn, jaw dropped in shock. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Happy tears started to well in his eyes and Louis asked, “A-are you serious? Are you drunk or something, is that why you’re saying this? I… Zayn, this isn’t funny, this isn’t a joke, I need you to be okay with this…”

Zayn just stood up and walked over to Louis. He sighed and said, “I’m not drunk, and yes, I’m serious.” His eyes bore into Louis’s and it was though he was trying to drive the point home. Louis only needed one look and he understood. “I’m okay with this. You’re my best mate. We get along and we’re partners in crime. You think that’s going to change just because you don’t have a dick?”

Louis couldn’t believe it.

He burst out laughing at the crude word and the simple way in which Zayn said everything. Louis pulled him into a massive hug and Zayn just hugged him back, smiling. He knew this meant a lot to Louis. Zayn pretended not to notice the tear streaks on Louis’s face because he could tell that Louis was trying to hide the fact that he was crying. Instead, Zayn just said, “Is… well, can I ask you some questions? I’ve… never met a guy like you before.”

Louis nodded. He sensed that Zayn was nervous, that he was trying not to say the wrong thing, and as they sat down on Zayn’s bed, Louis told him, “You won’t offend me with anything, you know. After the whole mess in Doncaster, I don’t think anyone can really upset me that badly anymore.”

So Zayn began to ask questions. Louis told him that he’d just always acted like a boy his whole life, and his mum didn’t make a big deal out of anything. She let him be a boy. Louis confessed that he’d never be able to thank her enough for that. All four of his younger sisters just accepted it and had no problem with it either because that’s just what they’d grown up knowing. Zayn could tell that Louis seemed to appreciate that fact the most.

Louis explained that he had always felt like a boy, even without the proper genitals, and that he didn’t see anything wrong with it. He’d bind his chest and thankfully his voice was already somewhat similar to a boy’s, and that was that. “Okay. So… you’re a boy, but… since you’ve got the girl bits, does that mean…?” Zayn trailed off.

He had three sisters, and he knew enough from living with them his whole life to know that one week out of every month they were rather miserable. Louis blushed and looked down, and he said, “Yeah. That’s still… a thing I have to deal with.”

“I’m sorry,” Zayn offered. “That must suck. Sex ed was probably completely useless to you.”

Louis let out a laugh and said, “You have no idea.”

“Is it as bad as they say?” Zayn asked, amusement on his face.

Louis just pulled a pained expression and replied, “Worse.”

Zayn and Louis shared a laugh in that moment; it did more to release the tension than actually express what they were feeling. Zayn was filled with so many questions, but he knew Louis, and he knew that he didn’t trust often, so he knew he needed to stick around even if he might have wanted to process this on his own, too. Louis would be his best friend no matter what, and Zayn really wanted to make sure that Louis understood that. After a pause, Zayn asked, “So… when it comes to sex then, what do you…?”

“I don’t?” Louis offered.

“Why not?”

Louis sighed and needed to really consider how he was going to answer. “I don’t… well, I don’t trust people. Nobody would understand,” Louis explained sadly.

“I would,” Zayn said simply.

Confused, Louis glanced up to see Zayn just looking at him, expression completely relaxed. “I don’t even know what I like. I’ve never…” Louis admitted.

Zayn raised an eyebrow. “You’ve never once gotten yourself off?” Zayn asked.

“I’ve never wanted to,” Louis shrugged.

Zayn nodded, and he said, “I get it. That’s fine. I mean… no pressure.”

Louis decided that this was his chance. Who better to learn likes and dislikes with than his best friend? In a quick, sudden movement, Louis reached out for Zayn and took his hand as eh said, “I… I’d trust you, you know. To erm… help.”

Zayn was honestly shocked that Louis was trusting him with so much so fast, but he supposed it kind of made sense. It wasn’t every day that Louis found someone so accepting of his body for what it was, regardless of the way he dressed or presented himself to the world. But instead of just getting down to it, just touching Louis and giving him ideas of what he might possibly enjoy in the future, Zayn took it slow. Just because Louis was confused, didn’t mean he deserved anything less than an amazing first time (if it even went that far). He pressed his lips softly to Louis’s, who seemed surprised before he slid his arms around Zayn’s shoulders and leaned back on the bed.

Louis’s heart was already beating wildly in his chest. A little voice in the back of his mind kept chanting that this was a joke, that something was going to go wrong. But he knew that Zayn could be trusted. Nobody had ever been so eager to understand before.

Zayn settled himself on the bed above Louis, his legs between Louis’s where he’d parted them so naturally. “You know…” Zayn whispered as he kissed Louis. “Guys _and_ girls like having their tits played with…” He dragged his hand over the binding, and he whispered, “You could try it if you wanted.”

As Zayn’s fingertips grazed a nipple through the fabric, Louis let out a squeak. He squirmed on the bed and then sat up, and for a fleeting moment, Zayn thought that Louis was about to change his mind. But instead, he was unfastening the binding, twisting it off of his body, and tossing it aside. Zayn looked over to see Louis, this time sitting in front of him with exposed breasts. They were small and perky, large nipples that were a dark pink, a stark contrast to Louis’s light skin. “C-can I?” Zayn asked, his hand lingering just there between his body and Louis’s.

Louis swallowed hard, his teeth biting down on his already swollen lower lip. His eyes were dark, his body already succumbing to the lust he felt towards Zayn. Zayn’s hand was warm where the room was not, and he could cover Louis’s entire breast with one hand. The cold drew Louis’s nipples hard before Zayn even touched them, but Zayn liked the feeling of the little bud of nerves between his fingers. He liked even more the sounds that came out of Louis’s mouth at the feeling.

With a smile, Zayn began to kiss along Louis’s collarbone, dipping his kisses lower until he could wrap his lips around one nipple while teasing the other. Louis was moaning wantonly above him on the bed, and Zayn felt proud to be the first person to make Louis feel so good in this body that he’d been conflicted with for so long. Zayn kissed lower, over Louis’s adorable little tummy, down to the waist of his jeans. He pulled them off slowly, and as Louis sat there in nothing but his pants, Zayn looked down at him with a smile.

Louis’s arms covered his body instinctively, but Zayn just guided them away. “You look perfect, mate,” Zayn said simply.

“Don’t forget I’m a _boy_ ,” Louis told him nervously.

Zayn shook his head and replied in a low, husky voice, “I could never.”

To level the playing field a bit and relax Louis, Zayn climbed off the bed and slowly took off all of his clothes. Then he reached out and gently pulled Louis’s pants away from his body, revealing that he had a light dusting of hair over what was very obviously considered “girl” parts. Zayn wanted to lean in and taste Louis, but before he could, Louis’s timid voice broke the heavy silence. “Zayn? Can I… I want to um…” he climbed off the bed where Zayn was still standing and then got down on his knees.

Zayn’s jaw dropped, and he wanted this so badly. His seventeen year old body responded eagerly to the suggestion, and he was already beginning to harden at the thought. Louis leaned in, his breath ghosting over the tip, before he nervously took Zayn’s cock into his hand. Louis’s hand seemed so little all of a sudden, and he stroked a bit before wrapping his mouth around just the tip, his lips closing around as he swirled his tongue. Zayn shivered and nearly fell over.

He looked down and watched as Louis bobbed his head slowly, experimenting and seeing how much he could take. Zayn grew to hardness rather quickly, the sight of Louis so debauched turning him on significantly. Louis let out a soft moan and spread his legs just a bit, and now suddenly Zayn was curious. At the same time, he was confused. If Louis saw himself as a gay boy, did that mean he wanted to ignore the fact that he had a vagina? Or would he like being touched there? Zayn didn’t know, but he also thought that perhaps Louis didn’t quite know either. So, he leaned back and pushed Louis’s fringe out of his face, and then helped him onto the bed. Zayn brought Louis’s body to the edge of the mattress and then he kneeled down to get the right angle. Slowly, Zayn pressed Louis’s folds apart to get a good look, and Louis looked flushed and slightly worried. “If you don’t like something, just tell me,” Zayn said simply. “I promise it won’t make me angry.”

Louis nodded, and then Zayn leaned in slowly, dragging his tongue slowly over everything, tasting Louis. Louis gasped and let out a low moan, his whole body writhing on the bed as he squirmed. Zayn found the hardened little bundle of nerves and sucked at it. He teased Louis’s clit like that for a bit, using kisses and little nips from his teeth and lots of suction too, until Louis was dripping wet.

To figure out just what Louis wanted, Zayn slid his fingers over Louis’s wet pussy, dragging them down over his hole to see what he’d do. Louis whined and squirmed, and he didn’t seem as into it as he did with his pussy so Zayn decided to just stick with that for now. He eased in a finger just to the first knuckle and watched as Louis’s back arched again at the intrusion. “Is this good?” Zayn asked softly, his breath puffing out against Louis’s thigh.

Louis nodded and barely managed to gasp out, “Y-yes.”

Zayn had only ever been with one girl, and that was his ex-girlfriend Perrie. They dated when the two of them were sixteen and they’d had sex, but that’s where the spark burned out. Zayn was just grateful he’d had the experience with her (and lots of critique from her as well) to make Louis’s first time better. “What do you want me to do, Louis?” Zayn questioned.

He didn’t want to just fuck Louis if that would make him uncomfortable. Zayn wanted Louis’s permission. Louis gasped and whispered, “I… I want you to… I want you in me.” Louis blushed furiously as he looked down at Zayn.

“Where?” Zayn asked slowly, his fingers gliding over Louis’s pussy, and then back to his ass.

“Um…” Louis bit his lip. He was only nineteen and not nearly as comfortable with using such sexual words as other people his age. Instead, he decided to just point to it, so to speak. “H-here,” Louis gasped, reaching down to slide his fingers over his dripping wet pussy.

Zayn watched the way Louis touched himself so intimately, and before he did anything else, he reached out and pulled Louis’s fingers to his lips. He licked the wetness off of them, tasting Louis on his tongue. Louis stared, wide-eyed, as Zayn sucked his fingers so slowly and in such a dirty way. It sent a shiver down Louis’s spine and he suddenly wanted more, and fast.

Zayn reached around for his jeans and found his wallet, where he still kept condoms even if he didn’t know enough girls for it to really make a difference. He pulled it out of the package and rolled it onto himself, and then he guided Louis properly up onto the bed. Louis was flushed and breathing heavily, and even with small, pert breasts and a pink, wet pussy, he still looked like a boy. Zayn didn’t fully comprehend, but he didn’t think he needed to. He just needed to accept Louis for who he was, and everything would be fine.

Louis was whimpering, nearly begging for it, and Zayn slowly aligned himself and began to press forward. But Louis was a virgin, and his body didn’t take it right away. Zayn’s cock slid out and up over Louis’s clit. Louis gasped and Zayn cursed, and then Zayn tried again. He slipped inside of Louis the second try, and Louis’s expression became both pained and overwhelmed all at once. He was extremely tight around Zayn’s cock, and Zayn was trying to figure out what was happening.

“Zayn, I…” Louis gasped, and he let out a soft squeak before his face went slack and his body trembled. He came just as Zayn was sliding inside of him, his body overwhelmed by the intense sensations that he felt just from that.

Louis had a thin sheen of sweat over his forehead, and he swallowed hard before looking up at Zayn. “You okay?” Zayn asked, his cock still only half-way inside of Louis.

With a nod, Louis smiled and his eyes drooped as he said, “Yeah, I’m good.”

Louis had never had an orgasm before that moment, but it was good. It wore him out and he felt it throughout every inch of his body. But even though he’d experienced one, he wanted another. It felt amazing and the fact that Zayn liked him just the way he was drove Louis absolutely insane. Zayn began to press inside more, and the pressure was almost too much for Louis to take. When Zayn bottomed out, Louis breathed heavily and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Their teeth crashed together and Louis sucked messily at Zayn’s lower lip, but it was good. Louis was overwhelmed with pleasure. Zayn just felt proud that he could make Louis feel so good.

When Zayn began to rock his hips, Louis squeaked again. If he kept doing that, Zayn knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on for much longer. Louis’s body trembled, and he whispered things Zayn couldn’t understand as his body tensed around Zayn again. “How did you do that?” Zayn asked in shock.

Louis looked so blissed out now that he’d managed to come twice in just a few short minutes. Louis shook his head and smiled, “I don’t know. But it’s good.”

“Yeah?” Zayn asked hopefully. He liked to know that he could make Louis feel so good. Louis nodded, and he brought his hands up to his mouth as Zayn slowly began to move his hips.

Louis hadn’t expected it to feel so good. His body was exhausted from two orgasms, yet wanted more. He wanted to feel more from Zayn, feel him move faster and deeper. At the same time, though, it was just enough and maybe even too much. Louis was so sensitive, but the sensitivity wasn’t going away. He began to wonder if that’s just the way his body was wired. “F-faster,” he begged of Zayn.

Zayn couldn’t watch Louis unless he wanted to come, so he buried his face in Louis’s neck and thrust harder, soft slapping noises being heard as their bodies connected repeatedly, Louis rocking his hips in time to meet the thrusts. “Oh my god, Zayn,” Louis moaned softly, scratching at his back.

Everything might have been confusing for Zayn at the beginning, but now things were basic. Louis felt good. Zayn felt good. This trust they shared hadn’t been broken and now they were as connected as two people could possibly become. He moaned and bit softly at Louis’s neck. “Zayn, I…” Louis gasped.

Zayn was so close, but he wanted to see what Louis needed. He leaned back, only to see the way Louis was closing his eyes, face contorted in pleasure as he bit at his nails, seemingly conflicted about how he felt. But I wasn’t conflict and Zayn knew it, because Louis would fight back if he didn’t like it. This was pleasure. Louis bit his nails to hold back the sounds but Zayn pulled them away. They were home alone and Louis could make all the noise he wanted.

Zayn thrust faster and Louis’s back arched high off the bed as he moaned. Zayn held Louis’s hips in place and thrust a few more times, coming hard just at the sight of Louis doing the same.

When Louis came down from it all, he draped an arm over his eyes and just lay there, catching his breath. Zayn pulled out of Louis and rolled off the condom, tossing it into the trash bin. Then he rolled onto the bed next to Louis, who was already pulling on his pants. He did that and then fastened his binder on himself again, and Zayn didn’t protest. Covered up, looking more like a boy, was how Louis was the most comfortable. He didn’t put on anything else after the binder and pants, and instead just curled up into Zayn’s side.

“Thank you,” Louis said softly, and his words were full of so much meaning Zayn didn’t even have to wonder just how much he was saying through those two simple words.

“No need to thank me,” Zayn insisted. “We’re best friends.”

“Yeah,” Louis smiled, lazy and happy right there in Zayn’s arms. “Best friends.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please, I try to write accurately, so if there's anything I can change or fix, just let me know. I really tried not to offend, so if I have without realizing, please just kindly notify me.


End file.
